Balance: assertive and yielded

Speaker: Colin Boyd

Notes

Balance in assertiveness and yieldedness. Phil 4:1-5. Both women probably thought they were in the right over something and the danger was to the unity of the church. Warnings on the way in which a dispute is handled. Difficulty in questioning oneself if you have been trained to be assertive.

Do not confuse assertive with aggressive.

Perfect balance of Jesus. Assertive in cleansing Temple when a Godly principle was under attack - John 2:13-17

Balance when Jesus was arrested and he showed both how to assert and how to yield in order to be within the will of God. John 18:3-11

Dangers of a constantly or inconsistently yielding life style. Examples - Saul (1 Samuel 15:24-26) and Pilate at trial of Jesus. Both gave in to crowd pressure. Comments made on fear of displeasing people and value of disagreeing graciously. Need to learn normality of not getting it right all the time.

Beware of waiting for anger before asserting a point.

Dangers of convincing ourselves that our little issues are big issues. Matthew 23:23-24

Be ready to give way in matters that are not involving principles.

Guard against a personal sense of prestige turning all our molehills into mountains.

End comments: Concentrate on being yielded to God. Only the strong can dare to be weak. Only the great can dare to stoop down.

Application

See the incident of Peter and John answering to the Sanhedrin. Acts 4:1-22. Was it asserting, yielding or balance?

Paul before the Sanhedrin, Acts 23:1-11. Was it asserting, yielding or balance?

Do you see yourself as predominantly assertive or predominantly yielding?

Try looking (in groups?) at one of these scenarios and judge where it would be good to assert and where it would be good to yield: (Warning - the answers need not be always black and white!)

• You are a visitor in someone else's church and as you are praising you throw your hands up into the air. A member of the church quietly says that they don't do this here. What do you do?

• Congratulations! You have been elected as a new MP to Westminster and you note that there is no shortage of assertive characters in your new environment. It becomes clear that the "rules" on expenses are not yet totally clear. As you are new to the job, do you take your guidance from what you are told is normal practise or do you dig your heels in to your own position on this? (note: this is of course an absolutely hypothetical situation!)

• Having attended a "Marriage Course" you have acted on the advice to set aside regular special time for you and your partner and have booked in your time some way ahead. Another member of your church then comes up with a series of Men's/Women's meetings, some of which you have already mentally booked on the same evenings. What do you do?

Posted: 11 Apr 2010